Sleeping training = FAIL

It’s 2:30 a.m.  The baby monitor erupts in blasts of red light, indicating an unhappy infant in the other room.  I sigh, trudge across the hall, where I find Monkey rocking on his hands and knees and screaming.  I pick him up and he goes limp, sound asleep in my arms.  Smiling, I place him in the crib.  Upon his butt touching the mattress, he wakes up – WIDE awake – and screams.   Repeat process four more times.  Leave baby screaming in crib.  Flop on bed and say, “I’m done , your turn,” to husband, who groans and mumbles something about work in the morning.   Before I can bite his head off lovingly reassure him that I don’t give a rat’s ass his child needs him, he gets up.  Strangely, all is quiet for a minute.  Daddy comes back to bed.  Then, wailing.  Screaming.  Shrieking.  Choking.  Almost vomiting.  The crying is getting worse.  I decide to try “cry it out”, the crying and choking escalate.  The baby is upset.  30 minutes later I can’t take it anymore.  I go in and try to comfort Monkey.  He’s not having it.  He wriggles in my arms, screaming, refusing to be comforted.  I’ve left him to cry and he’s holding a grudge.  Eventually, the crying makes way to sad little hiccups.  Then he’s asleep in my arms.  I place him lovingly in the crib and… yep.  Butt hits mattress and crying commences.  I pick him up, scream, “FINE, YOU WIN!!”, and put him in bed with me.  We both fall asleep immediately.  It’s 4:00.  Sleep training = FAIL. 

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